Monday, January 05, 2009

good eats & good views, part I

hello people. over the past month, too much political play has filled this web log. so, tonight i begin my newest venture: an experiment in both the culinary arts and the visual ones. a disclaimer: i am no chef and no skilled critic of television or movies. but, just the same, i guess that is what this whole web 2.0 thing is all about: a bunch of amateurs giving their unwanted opinions. and also people trying to use as many colons as possible. for example: i have already used four colons.

i was thinking, what if the end of the world came along, and the only place i had to turn was my local, organic-only, high-end grocery store? what would i do if i didn't know how to make delicious food from organic and locally-grown products? so, to turn a new leaf (this is NOT a new years resolution, which i hate) i decided to go grocery shopping on saturday and then cook my food for the entire week. i spent $70, and i'm hope it lasts me until next saturday, or even beyond. the only rules i have for this week are these: (fifth colon) first, the use of recipes is strictly disallowed, although i am allowed a lifeline per day (or week, i haven't yet decided), but I'm not allowed to write anything down on such telephone calls; second, actually, i only have one rule, and I already wrote it.

so, my first experiment? well that actually happened on Saturday night, but I made it again tonight. I will tell you what it was. I named my creation, "Popeye's Special." As you all know, Popeye was a cartoon strip character (who later made his way into cartoons and even movies) who was both a sailor man and a connoisseur of spinach. So, naturally, this salad is made a spinach, a basic ingredient of any delicious salad. i also carmelized (or candied--i don't know the correct verb for what I did) a handful of cashews that I bought at Whole Foods. Second, I boiled an egg. Third, I sliced an entire apple into thin slices. I placed the above ingredients in a bowl with the spinach. I shook it all together. Then, i got some mozzarella cheese, which obviously pairs well with spinach, and sprinkled it over the green goodness. Lastly, i dusted my concoction with Chillmark's Original Toasted Sesame Dressing. I'd imagine this dressing wouldn't be that hard to make, although I bought it from Whole Foods. The ingredients are: (6th colon) Canola Oil, Lemon Juice, Soy Sauce, Toasted Sesame Seeds, Water, and Xanthan Gum (I have no idea what Xantham Gum is). Anyway, the result was a delicious, fresh, crispy bowl of vegetarian delight.

To compliment my salad, i poured a cup or two of soy milk in the blender, added a whole bannanna, a tray of ice, and a spoon or two of sugar. I then blended it all together for a frothy cup of dreamy soy creamy beverage. i heated two pieces of bread, buttered them, and my meal was complete.

So there it is, the first half of my first entry of good eats & good views.

As I sat down to consume this deliciousness, I turned on Paranoid Park. If you haven't yet discovered the IFC channel on your local cable network, you must quickly. The movie is directed and written by Gus Van Sant (director of Good Will Hunting and the new movie, Milk). It's a good, short viewing perfect to compliment a small, scrumptious meal. The movie is an hour and a half and tells the story of a 16-17 year old Portland kid who gets mixed up in some bad happenings at a local skate park. the highlight of the movie is two fold: first, the portrayal of the way kids speak and act is pretty spot on; second, the sequences of skating are some of the most beautiful things that i've seen for a while. oh, also, the editing is pretty wild. so, if you like good movies, go see this one. or don't. whatever. i'm going to the kitchen now to cook a chicken concoction over night in the slow cooker.

now, just realize that i used 7 colons in this web log post, and i'm about to use 8: be amazed.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

a confederacy of novels

please find for me a better starting paragraph for any novel than the following:

"A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head. The green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that grew in the ears themselves, stuck out on either side like turn signals indicating two directions at once. Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled with disapproval and potato chips crumbs. In the shadow under the green visor of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Homes department store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress. Several of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be properly considered offenses against taste and decency. Possession of anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one soul."

now, please, as quickly as possible, go and find this book and read it.