Saturday, February 24, 2007

Utah Family Offended at Son´s Absence from Family Blog

Sources confirmed Saturday that a Utah family was incredibly offended at son´s and brother´s refusal to comment on family blog. "It feels like Stephen doesn´t love us anymore," commented the mother. "It´s been an entire week and he hasn`t posted a single thing." Patricia Frandsen, a local homemaker and child rearer, interviewed just after she rechecked the blog, claims that her son´s refusal to post is a slight not only to her, but to the entire family. Frandsen also said, "It´s his passive-aggressive way of telling us he doesn´t like the comments we are leaving. Or is it that he doesn´t like us? Does he like us? Oh...I just wish he would get married."

"Ever since stephen moved to New York he has become aloof, liberal, and above doing anything with his family," commented Libby Frandsen-Jones, Stephen´s sister and frequent commenter on the blog. Tracy Frandsen, the blog´s author, agreed and added, "At first he stopped calling daily, then he stopped coming home for the weekly sunday dinner, and now he stops commenting on the family blog. What`s next? Join the aclu, leave the church and vote for hillary clinton?"
Jonathan, Stephen´s younger brother, who recently started his own blog, added "When i first came home from my mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Stephen was listening to Rage Against the Machine. Now he is 25, unmarried, and he refuses to comment on the family blog."

The family blog, started just over three weeks ago, has attracted a large amount of attention from the Frandsen Family. The blog has taken the virtual place of once-weekly-held ´heritage nights,´ and is a forum where Tracy Frandsen can post his weekly letter, and the rest of the family can comment, correct, or cajole at will.

A success by any standard, the web log fetched 104 comments from its first post. The second week, when the second post only attracted 76 comments, Frandsen complained to his friend, Madison Sowell, that perhaps he should stop posting on his blog, because of waining support from its readership. The Frandsen Family responded fiercely with 79 comments, giving Frandsen capital to spend, eventually resulting in a post, two weeks later, that was written from the point of view of the family dog, an annoying, ugly little mut. The week previous to that, when Stephen Frandsen failed to comment, the blog only received 52 comments.

"I think its pretty obvious that two weeks ago, the small number of comments on the blog was due to Stephen´s neglect," said Paul Frandsen, caught just before mountain biking down a steep and dangerous hill with his daughter strapped to his somach, and his other daughter and son in a trailer behind his $2500 bike. "But I´m not mad or anything. I called him to have him confirm or deny some news that leaked out in the comments. He denied (I knew he would) and he let me know that he hadn´t had time to formulate any comments."

Stephen Frandsen was out of the country and could not be reached to comment; however, it is clear that the declining number of comments warrants some serious soul searching on the part of both the blog´s readership, and its author.


95 comments:

Amy said...

No Comment.

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness this issue has finally gotten some press. Maybe now someone will organize an intervention.

Anonymous said...

By the way, if the prodigal son truly wished to make amends for his glaring absence on the blog of his fathers, if he humbly repented of having forsaken his family, he would at least identify the blog name or web address here for the benefit of his faithful readers. Nothing says love like media buzz.

paul said...

in a startling revelation, it was revealed that stephen frandsen (a hipster who recently posted an incendiary blogpost on his trendy website) received a 'contribution' from PETA. this shocking news leaves little doubt that his inflammatory and hurtful comments stemmed largely from a desire to placate his supporters while seeking to turn public support regarding a recent racist and tragically damaging post about dogs.

paul said...

in another twist of the truth, stephen ironically used the money given him by PETA to help fund a trip to mexico where he toured sites that keeps monkey's captive for tourist's viewing delight...these recent developments cast a pall on the darkhorse and shining star of the NYC scene.

Dad (TMF) said...

If you are still wondering what you should do next year, maybe you should work for the NY Times.

libby said...

before you work for NY times, you had better learn to double check your sources. I'm afraid I was misquoted. love you brother.

Dad (TMF) said...

All the more reason to work for the Times.

petey said...

stephen.
brilliant.

i grinned the entire time i read it. i would have laughed by the white coat at the lectern would have been thrown off his explanation of oral hypoglycemics...

libby said...

Speaking of unknowingly showing bias: why did you refer to your family as the 'utah family'? Was it to show that they must be ridiculously conservative, or that they don't really know what it's like in the real world? Or that they're making unrealistic demands on members of their family because of their mormon background? Because actually, Stephen, more members of your family live outside of Utah than in Utah. (seven among redlands, pittsburgh, and ny; only six in utah). We just love you and missed you. That's all. No need to be so crazy and prejudiced about it.

patty said...

hmmmmmmm, I'm just glad Stephen no longer out of the country... I missed him.
I don't mind being mis-quoted, I am used to it.

Amy said...

I loved this post, Stevie. A flood after the drought. Don't stay gone so long next time.

Stephen said...

oh ma, you're the best.

Stephen said...

libby, my next post will be headlined: Utahn offended at Being Referred to as "A Utahn."

libby said...

Stephen: not offended. just wanting attention from my brother after being starved on the family blogs. :)

Jonathan said...

stephen: do you still listen to rage?

paul said...

so you do what they told you...

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rally 'round the family.

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changing the course of history, everyday people like you and me.

Stephen said...

the d the e the f the i the a the n the c the e. mind of a revolutionary. what? the land of the free? whoever told you that is your enemy?

petey said...

turn the radio on...? what?

Amy said...

Alright stop... collaborate and listen... ice is back with a brand new invention...

Stephen said...

um....

paul said...

word to your mother...

Marc said...

DUH, DUH, DUM. AND YOU DO WHAT THEY TOLD YOU!!! DUH, DUH, DUM. AND YOU DO WHAT THEY TOLD YOU!!!

Stephen, why are you so full of anger? Beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

Amy said...

I was shocked when Paul told me that Ice never really had a new invention... but Ice was actually back with a brand new edition.

Who knew??? All these years...

di said...

amy, don't worry.
i too thought ice was back with a brand new invention. in fact, i did some research and turns out, he was...look

paul said...

di: thank you for the clarification. i guess i can take some comfort in knowing that my familiarity with vanilla ice only goes so far. i always thought the next stanza began with, "dance, and watch the speaker that booms." boy was i wrong.

amy: my apologies for doubting you :)

i'm just glad i wasn't laughed out of the karoake bar that night with you in NYC brother.

paul said...

"the nina, the pinta, the santa maria" what a great song to start call with...

Amy said...

Thanks, Di, for getting my back. Glad to see that I was right, although I must say that I have been wrong about some of the other lyrics all these years. Good thing I never really caught on to some of the lyrics back in the day. It would seem that Ice was quite the thug.

"You know what I mean?"

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