Sunday, November 27, 2005

alien robotic lafe-logic

Um….i have recently been reading Lafe’s web log. He has posed some interesting ideas. His latest web log title is ‘no aliens involved.’ This is the subject I would like to address today—alien involvement.

Lafe, the statement ‘no aliens involved’ is false. Aliens are involved with everything and they influence and direct everything. Everything we do in life is either in order to please the aliens or defy the aliens. Also, we do these things simply because they are not only aliens, they are alien robots. Many fear them, but those who understand them just fight them. Which are you, lafe? Do you fear or fight?

Let me tell you something about alien robots: they will kill and they will fight. They are not our friends. They put it in peoples’ heads that we should fight and give diamond rings. They also are responsible for both republicans and democrats. That’s right both trent lott and harry reid are spawns of alien robotic culture. What do you think of that, lafedog?

Lafe, did you know why we have thanksgiving? It is to celebrate the pilgrim’s escape from the clutch of evil alien robots. Every year we celebrate thanksgiving and the alien robots are hurt and scared and reminded of their inferiority to the heights and meaning of the human spirit.

Lafe, tomorrow I’m going to see the tree lighting at Lincoln center. This tree lighting is done in order to send signals of warning to alien robots. They will not invade again unless we let them. So we stay strong. Also, later in the evening I’m going to see Chris Thile in the East Village. His music mimics alien robots in a satirical, intelligent way. I will let you know more about it once it is all accomplished. I must go now and prepare myself. I suggest you do the same…

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

shmonny and shmel

aren't shmonny and shmel cute? alien robots don't think so. they will destroy all things good. i've got two things to say: 1) get married; 2) live in the same state and maybe even the same apartment.

but seriously, jonny, happy birthday. may your next 80 birthdays be happy and love-filled with shmel by your shmide.

shmank you very shmuch.

Sunday, November 20, 2005



I would like to address the subject of robots. Robots are not our friends. Robots kill. They like to steal things and attack people and animals. This is not a good thing. They like to invade our private parties and domestic security. They do not have emotions. But they do have unicorns. These animals are called robot-unicorns. They pierce people with their robotic horns. This is not made up—it is very serious.

If you are not careful the robots will come for you also. They can fly and swim and crawl. This is not a good thing. They imitate people except for the emotions, which are not real. Evil programmers program these emotions. Robots like old people and young people too. Except they don’t really like them—they are just programmed to like them. Evil programmers are responsible for this.

So please, if you come across robots then run. They will eat you. Some of them are alien-robots and they use alien logic and this is also not good. These kinds of alien robots are especially good at flying and attacking. They don’t have to use hands. They can use swords wielded with the security of outer space.

If you have a problem with these types of robots then I suggest you call deltar: ruler of the rings of Saturn. He is good at defeating alien-robots. He uses alien logic as a counter weapon and this is good. His strength comes from his mind, which was trained by alien robot programmers. His mind creates things from matter. And the space is matter too. So he uses space to build weapons that can hurt the alien robots. He is like a big white sheet that interconnects everything and is everything and contains everything and makes it possible to hope. He is hope. Hope is defeating alien robots.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

dear pops

In an effort to lure my dad onto my web log (you notice I refuse to use the abbreviation for web log (blog) but prefer to stick to the actual name-I do this in honor of Skinny T. Wright) I have decided to use my dad's comments as fodder for web logging activities. Please forgive. If you do not know my dad, then you can go ahead and ignore what I am about to write. But, I don't think anyone who fits that description even knows about this web log. So please continue, unless you finally realize that you should be doing something worthwhile with your life instead of wasting it away reading web logs while you are thinking you should be doing something worthwhile. Especially when the web logs are about my boring, insignificant life.

Before I start, you must realize that all through 2004 my dad rode around in a large suburban with a small w'04 sticker on the bumper. That should say it all. But, I must add more. He also placed a bush/cheney sign at the end of our driveway. I think he received it from some republican group because of some kind of donation he made. Now, before you race to the comments to reprimand Dr. Frandsen, let us examine why he loves Bush so much.

In my dad's last family letter, which he distributes weekly, he wrote the following:

What did you think of the Scalito nomination? Are you able to stand up for your conservative values in Hillary Clinton's bastion of liberalism? President Clinton's jaunts are not too far from you, are they? From what I can glean from the articles in the paper and magazines, he is an amazing man with impeccable credentials. And, anytime Senator Schumer, another New York bulwark of sensibility, goes on the offensive against a nominee, I know the nominee is one for me. Actually, when I found out that gourmet cooking was one of his hobbies, then I knew he would be a good justice. And, then when his 90 year old mother matter-of-factly told the press 'Of course he is against abortion,' I knew again he came from a good family. What is the scuttlebutt on the street?

I intend to dissect his statements and provoke his comments (remember, the point of today's web log is to lure him into the commenting). So I will answer his questions one-by-one.

Q) What did you think of the scalito nomination?

A) A well-qualified judge from within the 'judicial monastery' who is a home-run nomination compared to his botch-of-a-nomination Harriet Miers whom he couldn't sell to his conservative base, much less his liberal opposition. However, I'm afraid the conservative might be surprised when he doesn't overturn Roe V. Wade because of lack of precedence Gourmet cooking was not a selling point for me; however, the fact that he attended a fantasy baseball camp for the phillies in '93 was.

Q) Are you able to stand up for your conservative values in Hillary Clinton's bastion of liberalism?

A) Bastion of liberalism? Michael Bloomberg, who won yesterday's reelection bid for nyc mayor, is a conservative, or at least a republican, as was Mayor Giuliani before him. So, even though it's really hard, I'm hanging on by just a thread.

Enough with the Q and A. I just want to say a couple more things. Dad, why label yourself part of any political organization, democrat or republican, liberal or conservative? It seems like you are rubber-stamping all of Bush's moves these past couple weeks just because you are republican. I think you must admit that he hasn't been doing things perfectly. What do you think? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Lastly, I would like to highlight the transformation for the better that I have experienced. When I came home from Taiwan I found myself listening to sean hannity in my car. I was starved for anything on the radio. I'm happy to say that shortly thereafter I switched my attention to better-equipped pundits: jon stewart and stephen colbert. Check out the comedy central website to learn more. So pops, judge for yourself.

And that's all I have to say.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

beware all ye...

ok, this is just a test. i'm not sure about the blogging thing. do i get into it and then spend all my time just making my blog look good? do i take away from quality sleep/relaxation time? the only reason i would do it is to hook up the family device with quick information so my dad will stop complaining about my lack of letter writing. so i will give the family a moment's time to let me know if i should keep this blog going. i've got more to share, but it has to wait until i see whether this will be worth my time. so paul, amy, libby, jonny, melinda, vicki, pat, tracy, hannah, dj, lafe, etc. you better show me this is what you want. please leave your comments and tell me what you think


ps: the above pic is what i think about dad's recommendations about my future life.