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I would like to address the subject of robots. Robots are not our friends. Robots kill. They like to steal things and attack people and animals. This is not a good thing. They like to invade our private parties and domestic security. They do not have emotions. But they do have unicorns. These animals are called robot-unicorns. They pierce people with their robotic horns. This is not made up—it is very serious.
If you are not careful the robots will come for you also. They can fly and swim and crawl. This is not a good thing. They imitate people except for the emotions, which are not real. Evil programmers program these emotions. Robots like old people and young people too. Except they don’t really like them—they are just programmed to like them. Evil programmers are responsible for this.
So please, if you come across robots then run. They will eat you. Some of them are alien-robots and they use alien logic and this is also not good. These kinds of alien robots are especially good at flying and attacking. They don’t have to use hands. They can use swords wielded with the security of outer space.
If you have a problem with these types of robots then I suggest you call deltar: ruler of the rings of Saturn. He is good at defeating alien-robots. He uses alien logic as a counter weapon and this is good. His strength comes from his mind, which was trained by alien robot programmers. His mind creates things from matter. And the space is matter too. So he uses space to build weapons that can hurt the alien robots. He is like a big white sheet that interconnects everything and is everything and contains everything and makes it possible to hope. He is hope. Hope is defeating alien robots.
26 comments:
Hi Stevie,
This is Melinda. I left a rather long comment on your first web log, but it was quite untimely and I don’t think that anyone saw it. Oh well. Since I’m still catching on to this “blog” world, I guess that I have an excuse to be technically challenged. After reading your latest robot web log, that feeling seemed to increase. Human look-alike robot carnivores that are programmed by evil alien robot programmers to have fake emotions and our only defense is to call Deltar (whose mind was trained by the alien robot programmers). I hope the line is not busy. How do you know you are not a robot?
I am glad the line was not busy when Jonathan and I called you for advice about his wedding band today. I was very impressed Jamie purchased his on ebay for ten dollars…so impressed that I ended up feeling like I had just thrown my money into the jewelry market’s bonfire. Do man eating robots work at jewelry stores?
Jonny thinks that man eating robots write poems. His logic is as follows: only alien boys who have been programmed with those sorts of emotions would ever dare a write girl a poem. He couldn’t stop laughing today when he discovered how many boys (close friends…he was outnumbered 5-1) have actually written girls poems. I couldn’t stop laughing at his reaction.
Now, I am not by any means offended that Jonny has never written me a poem (with the exception of a short jingle he made up to ask me to prom our senior year)-I prefer his quirky terms of endearment (no matter how strange my nickname “Shmel” may sound.) over Shakespearean sonnets. However, when he said, “My brothers would never write girls poems,” I thought that this statement needed to be verified.
So brothers, what do you think? Is poetry a product of alien robots or not? Just wondering…
-Melinda
melinda-
shmel?? that was johnny's nickname for me when we used to play RBI baseball. i can't believe he's recycling it for the women he loves. what does that say about his feelings for me, you, or maybe "us."
poem:
johnny, johnny,
oh, johnny, why must you tease me with your
name-calling...
shmame-calling
shmel-calling...
shmel,
first i must answer your question. everything is a product of alien robots: good and evil, prose and poem. but remember, my dear shmel shmel, boys who write women poetry are definitely not sincere; rather, they are giving in to the social norms and pressures that tell them to write said poetry.
my advice to jonny: stay true to your morals and standards. do not give in to societal norms and pressures that would have you do things like write poetry, buy flowers, exchange rings, purchase diamonds, and other types of courtships procedures that are thoughtless, easy, and uncaring. no jonny, you should take the road less traveled and create your own ways of expressing your love and care.
remember: alien robots are big and eat people.
less defined
WARNING: Deltar's advice in this matter must be heeded with caution. Two slips in his blog tell us this...
1-"robots will come for you ALSO." (caps added)
2-"his mind...was trained by alien robot programmers"
definition
deltar has been abducted by evil robot programmers (an awareness of which he retains as evidenced by his Freudian slip--ALSO) it is folly and danger to assume that you can fully comprehend the minds of aliens. I can shed light of some of the suggestions he has given that clearly come from the mind (and menace) of an alien or from
Peter's poem was not humane or human and it begs the question of whether the cousins frandsen were both abducted...
Back to clarifications of dear deranged deltar's suggestions:
1-Social Norms and Pressure--Bob Dylan was not born yesterday. He had a film open in New York that was praised by the masses. In this post-dylan era, bucking societal norms is 'hip' and 'with it'. It could be said that one who lives a 'social norm' with conviction and sincerity is liberal in her thinking.
Deltar's definitive statement that "boys who write women poetry are definitely not sincere" is dangerously similar to the current 'hip' and 'with it' political movement that does not allow religious dogma but instigates social dogma...
These two paragraphs under #1 lead to my personally biased statment. I have written poetry to a girl and it was one of my more memorable lifetime experiences.
So my dear deltar and jovial jonny, don't mock it until you've tried it...
2-Other various and sundry condemnations--"do not...buy flowers, exchange rings, purchase diamonds, and other types of courtships procedures that are thoughtless, easy, and uncaring." These suggestions sound not like the road less traveled, but like the social norm that deltar saw demonstrated during childhood developement...
The choice is yours. Choose wisely.
And as always I write with due deference to deltar.
Melinda,
Welcome to the blog. I enjoyed your first message quite a bit. Amy and I laughed a lot. I hope you are not offended by the defaming of Jonny's nickname by the cousin's frandsen (lowercase f). It's cute Jonny.
how could i defame something that was mine to begin with. given to me. now, i'm honored to share the name with melinda. but there was no defamation. merely a sad moment to concede jonny's heart to a younger and much more attractive opponent...
i like that petey. more poetic.
Paul: Were you referring to your mother? Dad
melinda i diddint now you now abaot bloging.
and petey shmel you,st to be jonny,s name for baseball
paul stephen an alin robot nay
and you stephen you like robots
tell me how you stareded to like robots. love lafe
oh i have a blog now love lafe.
that,s not melindas first coment
love lafe...???,,,.........
were did you get that picher of that robot.
love lafe.?
Ah... a robotic origin and an alter ego from Saturn. Finally, I am beginning to understand my brother-in-law.
And quirky nicknames from a Frandsen boy are definately terms of endearment... especially when they begin with 'shm...' Consider Paul's nickname for Michael: "Shmibbers." And for his wife: "Shmamy." How can we resist??
But a poem... Insincere? Thoughtless, easy, and uncaring?? Stevie, Stevie... this coming from a lover of literature? Far from a social norm, a poem written from the heart will communicate original, sincere, thoughtful feeling. But I only speak from my own experience. I guess it all depends on what you've been given...
But we all have our own ways of expressing our feelings. I wonder what alien robots do? And what about gods from Saturn???
paul, i'm afraid you didn't realize that you have stepped into the alien robotic no spin zone. please take a step back and watch the master deltar nail you in your own rhetoric.
1) have you been to outer space?
2) can you predict the exact locations of electrons?
3) boo yeah.
4) robots will come for you ALSO. paul: why must you wrest my words? why must you take that which is plain and precious and distort it to fit your own goals and meaning? know you not that the also is refering to the animals and people that robots attack. know you not that they attack our domestic security? oh ye wicked and perverse generation...
5) 'his mind was trained by alien robots programmers'. did ra's ah ghul not train batman? similarly, deltar's mind was trained by the opponent; thus, he understands their ways and undermines their authority.
and paul: was the poem written to mom?
6) i'm not going to respond to your comments about hip and what is trendy is to be not trendy. i just have one thing to say: 2 Nephi 15:20.
lafe: just google robots and you can find some pretty good pics.
amy: motivation be the key word. i would argue most guy's motivation when they do almost anything sappy (poem, song, marriage proposal) is insincere and societal influenced (by that i mean guys know if a then b--you know what i mean?).
with all love, deference, and respect
stephen
paul- (and maybe you... dj)
if you want to open you own blog. just go to blogspot.com. man, you know you got a lot to say when your comment is longer than the original post. and poems and flowers... ok let us speak of this
flowers have got to be the most thoughtless gift ever! any guy can read the book on dating and buy flowers. it is the biggest sell out presentation in the world. and girls only love it cause they have been conditioned to love. even the conditioning has been conditioned. if you wanna be thoughtful put some real thought into something and skate passed the dull cliche dozen.
roses are for wives. period. emphasis on the punctuation. anything else is debasing traditionalism
hey i do not think that a robot is s mans best freind
I don't give flowers all that often.
Maybe the important decision is this: what does the girl whom you are dating like? It would stand to reason that if you care for that girl then (cliche or not) it would be selfish and thoughtless NOT to give her gifts that she really appreciates--versus giving her what you think is thoughtful (ie. not cliche in your mind, therefore somehow better--and she comes away unsatisfied)...
So the true test for the male partner is whether he knows his female counterpart well enough to ascertain her needs and wants. A truly thoughtful male and one with backbone would find ways to meet HER needs not those of roomates and society condeming the cliche.
As to my own blog. I am honored that Petey deems me worthy. for now I will contribute to the family forum created by deltar and his minion--Stevie.
Interestingly it seems that so far Nick and I are the most avid readers of our younger brothers blogs.
paul,
you are right. so, it becomes my quest to find the girl who does not want, much less expect flowers. i must find the girl free from the hand of the alien robotic conditioning that tells her flowers, rings, and poetry is romantic. then i will meet her needs. oh, and did you get my 'if a then b' comment?
Lafe: robots of course are not man's best friend.
jonny, happy birthday my young one.
Stephen,
You are right. I've thought about it and my comments are swayed by 5 years of marriage. A majority of male gestures of affection revolve around "if a then b" mentality. 'B' being the operative letter here. And the gifts with conditioning attached are most effective at setting 'B' in motion.
The valentines gift I am most proud of while living the high life was the potted cactus...
Dad, all things good in life have come in part because of you and mom.
yes paul, i remember the cactus--but wasn't that for mom on mother's day?
This was all very fun to read. I'm not sure what Stephen meant by the b--. Daddy always gives me hard time when I don't catch the punch lines. It is enjoyable to read how my posterity is communicating. I'm not good at this blogging thing so I will just keep reading and hold my comments for personal conversations. Mom
After much thought, I've decided post my ponderings on the subject of gifts. I think you all need to take a good look at Book II of Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics. Once you've read up on it you'll see that he suggests moderation in all things. If you men took this to heart, you'd see that giving gifts in excess will do nothing but make it cliche (as stephen says) and frivolous. However, if gifts are never given, a person would be considered stingy (as Paul alludes). So, Stephen, this comment is directed toward you. Even if you do find a girl that doesn't want flowers, poetry, or diamonds, it would be virtuous to give some sort of gift. No one wants to be considered stingy, right? Stinginess, I believe, is synonomous 'being a Scrooge.' And as it is officially Christmas time, you wouldn't want to be considered a Scrooge.
um...is that you libby? did your philosophy class just finish reading aristotle? are your quoting aristotle as if he is scripture? catholics did that, libby, and look what happened to them (apostasy). well, i do agree with you. i should give gifts: i just do not want to give the cliche gifts. i don't think the debate was over how many or few gifts to give; rather, which gifts and what the motivation is for giving gifts. how is your philosophy class going anyway? it sounds like you are learning a lot. rock on and look out for robots.
Ok, so I realize there has been a 5 day lag on this string of comments, but I have a question in regards to being cliche.
Sometimes, it seems, that people who are trying so hard NOT to be cliche, ARE cliche. So what is cliche, and what isn't? I would also venture to substitute the word trendy for cliche.
Off topic, when I was reading Aunt Pat's comments, typed under Lafe's name, I didn't realize it was Aunt Pat writing. I thought it was funny thinking that Lafe had written "It is enjoyable to read how my posterity is communicating." Anyhoo...
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