we are morning the loss of our dearly departed, our recently returned, our one and only ryan glen clark. we don't know why, but he decided to go back to utah, back to the daily grind, back to freshman and blond highlights. can't say i miss him though: a couple of months with a large room to myself is enough to cure any sensation of loss. but, i have lost a partner in the search for the best nyc cheese cake (although i think we already found our champion). and i have no one to talk to at night, so i write web logs instead. in fact, right now i'm considering a return to my room; however, only bills, laundry, and taxes await me. so i stay out here in the living room and continue to write incoherently. i don't even know what i'm doing--perhaps i'm creating a chautauqua. would you like to join my chautauqua? or, maybe i need a roomate back so i will stop writing nonsense--or is it a chautauqua?
either way, i need to put off sleep as long as possible: the sooner i go to sleep the sooner i must wake up. but i do have the weekend and i think peter and i might sell our souls and go to ikea again. i haven't quite decided, but i don't think i like ikea. maybe because its slowly taking over the world. or maybe because i don't like a majority of things. or maybe because i get lost whenever i am in one of their buildings. or maybe i hate all things swedish. or maybe i just like beginning sentences with the words 'or maybe.' or maybe not.
i've always thought maybe is a strange word. write maybe on a piece of paper, close your eyes, and then open them and only look at the word 'maybe.' strange. its probably swedish. and thats probably why i hate indecision. because i hate all things swedish (does anything other than ikea and army knives even come from sweden?).
did i mention that i spoke with andrew t. wright on the phone? he wants to know who keeps commenting and then deleting his or her comments. i told him i don't know and i don't care.
i have this other friend, andrew taylor, who is in iraq. i haven't heard from him in a while. except for this voice message he left me. but i can't call him back because he is in kirkuk or somewhere.
ok. its now 11:38. if you are still reading this, you should have stopped six paragraphs ago.
110 comments:
oh stephen, how i've missed your literary stream of incontinence!
ry@n,
i couldn't agree more. plus, if you read closely, stevey said we're "morning" the dearly departed which has got be symbolic of his wet pillow and vacant heart that scream and wail like the 7 or 8 alarms that announce your absence every morning
phaedrus: nice post
which cheescake won the taste-off? ...and why wasn't i consulted?
i like the word maybe.
indecisive people suck.
dd
dd: please don't say that about me. i'm proud of you and phaedrus--you passed the test. O'luney's won the taste-off. do you know of any better?
petey: incontinence?
ry@n: why do you even exist? i'm happy now because i can turn the light on in the morning.
goodbye.
stephen: i think army knives come from switzerland.
stephen: and what is good, phaedrus, and what is not good...
need we ask anyone to tell us these things?
ryan: i miss you
petey: don't sell your soul
dd
p.s. i'm part swedish
dd-
that explains so much!
stephen-
ask your dad. he's a doctor.
petey: as per dd's advice, we will not sell our souls and travel to ikea.
dd: word to your mom. and maybe i like swedish stuff, but not if its indesisive. but, then again, maybe not. i just don't know.
paul: you alive?
let's go biking in bozeman.
brother
glad to see the blog is back on its feet. very happy indeed.
dd: in our hearts, we are all indecisive. don't put us down.
We certainly enjoyed visiting the Wadsworth apt. and it will not be the same without cute Ryan. We appreciated your hospitality and putting up with our 8 year old. Lafe is already asking when we are going to go back. Lafe says he wants to be a penpal to both Derek and Nisaih. Patty
I wonder where Ikea puts all the souls they buy. Stephen, if you continue makeing comments to yourself you may want to consider selling your soul for your own welfare.
and if I keep up with the spelling errors I may consider selling mine.
stephen: i like swedish fish. ikea has good hot dogs.
libby: i agree with you, and no offense was intended. I am very often indecisive....and sometimes i suck.
dd
paul: biking in bozeman would be better; afterall, those mountains go for 75 miles before you reach the snow and we could find out the meaning of quality.
libby: good to have you.
ma: have lafe write letters to both derek and nyzaiah and send them on over.
natalie: ikea doesn't buy souls--it collects them. sort of like a soul repo man.
dd: i like swedish fish too.
r-dogg_
and the hot pictures to prove it! i should bust a rhyme on this page to memorialize that time, you in your beige...
what's with all of these people commenting all of the sudden? it used to be just paul, petey, and stephen in an endless meaningless trialogue (actually, i take that back, only stephen's comments were meaningless. i actually quite enjoyed petey's and paul's). stephen i think more people are commenting because they all feel so sorry for you and who wouldn't.
and yes, the swiss are known for their knife making prowess, not the swedish.
i would just like to also comment that i saw the documentary "super size me" yesterday and i've had a big mac craving ever since. i don't think that's supposed to happen.
michael reads the aquabats jewel case cover as a bedtime story. is the CD repo man irrelavent with all these mp3 players?
bike technology has slowly become my friend. scooter technology has not. art is our friend. dreyer's vanilla bean ice cream is quality.
eat that brother
dd, do you have a name?
paul: dd is her name.
and even though you think you have found quality and the good, does that not just exist in your mind? can you define it? no. therefore it is not.
skinny: big macs are quality so you should like them.
natalie_
ikea uses the souls they buy to keep prices down, it saves on material/over-head. if you've ever gone to the store and really loved something, almost to the point of feeling a strong bond, just realize you are probably just bonding with a kindred soul who has been stitched right in. be careful, that's all i'll say. they will take your soul.
skinny_
big macs are also made from souls. the only difference is nowadays, any given big mac will have upwards of 1000 different souls minced together as opposed to when they used to just come from the cut of one soul.
yeah skinny, forget sylvia's. mickey d's has the real soul food.
paul: my name is actually elizabeth, but you can call me dd. i also enjoy vanilla bean ice cream.
skinny: i do feel sorry for stephen...but only because he's been sick, ryan left him, and ikea is trying to steal his soul.
ryan: i'm curious about the source of o'luney's cheesecake. please follow up and inform.
dd
nice to meet you dd.
stephen: here name is elizabeth but you can call her dd
dd and skinny: i also feel sorry for stephen. mostly because i am going to gooseberry without him next week.
stevie: come home and go to gooseberry (i'll settle for then end of april)
jonny: did you hear that? don't wimp out on us. we are going to st. george or moab with no excuses when you come home.
petey: be like the squirrel petey, be like the squirrel.
http://www.dimijianimages.com/squirrel-monkey-leaping.jpg
stevie: here you go my asian aficionado.
http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=5660833
petey,
thanks for the words of wisdom concerning the big mac. i'll take that in consideration next time. i wonder whose souls they are.
dd,
the real reason you should feel sorry for stephen is because nobody likes him (except his mom and sometimes his dad)
stephen,
congratulations on your new calling. i guess that means you haven't cofessed yet. it also means you'll have to start going to church. no more sunday morning soap operas for you. but don't worry, i'll record them.
oh yeah, paul what's the "gooseberry" to which you refer with such great anticipation?
paul: nice to meet you too.
skinny: gooseberry is a mountain biking trail.
stephen: thou art that. to fully realize this lack of division is to become enlightened.
petey: do you think you could introduce me to george?
dd
dd_
if by george, you mean st. george. yes i can. i am st. peter, the leader of the saints and can summon any patron you wish to meet.
but i can't promise any security against soul snatching...
anyone that knows what gooseberry is may visit the dominion anytime.
stevie: don't try to deny that i am the gatekeeper of the dominion (no relation to ghostbusters)
jonny: have you already wimped out.?.. there's no escaping our companionship. melinda can come too, but you can get your own tent (we're sleeping in the back of the suburban...with pink pillows)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/50606857@N00/page3/
for a quick glimpse into stevie's past see page 3 of utahlife photos
skinny: don't even think about stealing stevie's bike.
paul_
pink pillows? no surprises here. you shoulda seen stevey go wild last night at bed bath and beyond (check out our registry "pt and steph frandsen on line") searching for pillows. if you only knew how much his pillows are worth...
jonny: are you even thinking about ditching out on the gooseberry trip? that would be shameful.
paul: i will be there, of course. and with my pink pillows. last night, as petey has alluded to, i bought a $50 pillow for only $11.98. and its heavenly. oh, and i've never denied that you are the gatekeeper of this web log. i, just like in basketball when we were wee ones, always defer to you.
skinny: don't even pretend like you know me. how you gonna be showing up at my parent's house all chillin' with them like that?
peter and elizabeth: whats with all the secret code on my web log? not that i mind it, however. a comment is a comment. and i take what i can get.
dd: you are too good for peter. you should come up our way and check out my new arrangement in the room, and then you might reconsider things.
I'm Swedish. ... i think
stevey,
don't you live by that motto? "i take what i can get?"
h_
you are not swedish--everyone knows swedish people are black.
Brothers,
I don't plan on wimping out on you. However, I don't know that mel is going to make the trip. And she is a bit hesitant to let me go, because we won't be together at all for the month of May.
We just found out that we will be in Indianapolis for the summer and not DC. It's gone from CA to DC and now to Indianapolis, and this one sounds pretty set in stone. So that's where we'll be. We're pretty excited, but bummed at the same time that we won't be by any of our family members.
i need a new pillow. our pillows are hashed. (i think they are actually pillows that my parents bought when they were first married).
must i sell my soul for comfort like you found?
what about the cd repo man?
jonny, i'm going to call you before i comment on your comment...
be like the squirrel.
let's let bygone basketball games be bygone basketball games.
this blog is quality. definitely.
amy would sell her soul to bed bath and beyond any day. some days she prefers bb&b to me.
gatekeeper: thank you for endorsing my participation in the blog. i agree it is Quality.
skinny: i had an intense cheeseburger happymeal craving last night. i think it might be your fault.
petey: no, as in clooney. and he's hardly a saint...
stevey: i thought speaking in secret code was central to the purpose of this blog. my mistake.
jonny: one question: "who wears the pants?"
elizabeth: if you are an alien robot or an alien robot programmer, then you may speak in code. are you either?
paul: the squirrel splits up his problems--i have no problems. at least now that i have my bb&b pillow i have no problems. sell your soul, cd repo man.
skinny: pig.
stevie: the question is not who wears the pants, but who wears the capris...jonny?
Jonny: a coo ka coo ka coo ka coo.
Jill: the question is actually whether those skin cells exist objectively, subjectively, or as Quality.
Peter: i know you are reading this web log and purposefully not commenting. shame on you, cousin.
not purposely. its just a little overwhelming. there was vacuum generated in your adsense and the people have emphatically displayed their loyalty to deltar. i don't even know where to begin to respond.
dd.
clooney was so hot. you coulda been there.
paul.
a seven army nation couldn't hold you back
jill.
don't bother with stephen's philosophical nonsense.
jonny.
cookoo ka cha! cookoo ka cha!
ry@n.
where's my money sucka?!
hi-d.
where are you now is the question?
natalie.
your truancy leaves me vacant
skinny.
come live with us. i'll buy you a big mac and a soul.
petey: i appreciate the compliment. that was all that i needed.
jonny: i'm just glad you don't wear capris.
come to moab. what's another week among friends?
are there bugs in indianapolis?
libby: do you wear pants?
skinny: feed your fast.
stevie: 50 comments...boo yes
and anyway. these comments come as an involuntary reaction to objective and subjective Quality. all stemming from stevie's silly chautauqua.
that was all that i needed.
petey: did you go to the MOMA?
http://www.economist.com/cities/briefing.cfm?calendar=1&city_id=NY#Mark_Morris_Dance_Group
paul.
yes i did go and that spanish exhibit was one of the best things i saw there. surprisingly nothing on the guggenheim though in bilbao. (maybe cause its competition)
i'd have to say my favorite one was the cloisters though.
did they have starry night? we got jipped when we went because starry night was on a world tour.
if you like the cloisters you need to go to st. petersburg. the palace/museum was astounding. next break you can go to russia instead of puerto rico.
well then, i guess it would be physically impossible for me to be swedish. unless i found out my real birth mom is black. ... which is quite possible.
petey: P-town my friend, but soon to be SLC! how's your life?
Paul: How are the twins?
jonny: How's your vaca? (that means vacation)
hi-d: when you come to SLC, please bring season 2 of felicity.
jonny's life is a vacation.
the twins are sleeping.
paul: quality is neither objective nor subjective. its mystic. and so am i. and please don't watch season 2 of felicity. maybe you better ask yourself the capris question.
jonny: we will have a good time on gooseberry, capri-boy.
paul: i have a feeling libby is a pants type.
dj: your mission: to change libby into capri's (but only after you're married, of course).
dd: don't leave me this weekend. spread the word: party/get together at my place on sat. night at or around 10:15ish. you have connections and you can make it happen.
pd: i miss you already. come back to me quickly.
paul: russia's for communists.
petey: architecture and communists in russia...or bikinis in puerto rico. tough call.
i think i'd go with the architecture.
paul: i'm a twin. twins are cool. you should definitely spring for new pillows.
stevey: you severely overestimate my connections. anyway, i'm on "vaca" this weekend in palm springs with the fam (this time the bikini won) but i'll miss you....
ryan: where are you?
hi-d: can i borrow season 2 of felicity after paul?
I would say the pants switch from person to person-which is not to say the capris switch as well. Don't worry we're never in the same room when the switching happens.
libby: why do you think you can wear pants, but dj can't wear capris? how you gonna be frontin' like that?
Elizabeth: just when i'm thinking i can dig your tastes and way of doing things, you've got to pull out that felicity business. all i have to say is once she cut her hair, she lost my viewership.
jonny: does this mean you aren't a capri man? either way i can't answer your question. i'm just along for the ride (of my life). paul is the planner of this one. paul: i suggest we get a hotel with a bunch of dudes and watch dodgeball again.
jill: i learn all these great facts from you. wasn't it you that taught me that the average american swallows seven spiders in their sleep?
with all the talk of dead skin cells and pillows then my question is whether you use hotel pillows...
dd: are identical to your twin?
jonny: we probably shouldn't go biking the day of libby's wedding and we should be home in plenty of time for the girls blessing on Saturday. where does that leave us? maybe the family pictures could be on Saturday in the middle to late day.
libby: i guess the deej can't come biking because you two will be honeymooning...he is invited though.
dd.
as long as there are scooter rides involved, i'll take either.
and i am right behind stevey on the felicity garbage. the oc, laguna beach, 2fast, those i can handle, even smallville and old school dawson's creek, but i have to draw the line at felicity. (have fun in palm springs)
paul.
felicity. not a big surprise from a dutcher fan.
stee.v.
not as much as i miss you. first ry@n, now me. poor little #3C...
stevey: felicity is hot. i agree the haircut was ill-advised...but wasn't her hair still long in season 2?
paul: no, we're fraternal. what are yours?
petey: scooters. yeah.
petey: you want to trash talk dutcher? how do you decide your standards? you've no problem with paul walker, but you can't dig dutcher? although i must agree with you on felicity. to tell you the truth, i thought you were going to be down with that....
elizabeth: i'm glad i can't answer that business about what she looks like in season 2. see that's the problem with quality. i can obviously see that felicity is garbage and not quality. you, on the other hand, dig it. but, i think that makes me hip and you square. or is it the other way around? either way, i know i'm right...
dj: come biking bro. you know you want to.
dj.
what a better way to start your married life than serious boy-bonding on bikes with brothers?!
(i just wanted the 70th comment. pardon my greed.)
petey: i'm suprised you admit your love for oc, laguna trash on the www. your dislike for dutcher makes more sense in light of this new information. you know, lowest common denominator and all that.
petey: you too are invited on our little biking excursion. bring a pillow and bond.
petey: oh snap. no paul didn't. l.c.d. bro. you better come back with something good.
elizabeth: miss your presence in nyc (you too petey).
paul: you got creatures in your pillows and i don't.
ry@n: how have you disappeared so quickly from my web log and from our hearts?
hi-d: did you disappear too?
jonny: who are you?
(might i add that its mostly only married people who really get excited about deals from online rental services)
stevie: stay at home with your wife and enjoy a good movie..?.what could be better.
jonny: we used the online service, but we get free blockbuster rentals with our discover cashback.
stevie: please don't defend the oc laguna l.c.d. trash.
we're going biking on thursday and friday. jonny ok'd it. i ok'd it. do you ok it?
where should we go? how about moab, grand junction, fruita?
dd: ours are fraternal as well. do you and your twin get along well? did you have to deal with comparisons?
jill: do you use hotel pillows?
i'm not going to stop telling the spider trivia.
stevie again: i'm going to take your bike in to have the drive train tuned and your going to pay for it...then our trip will be smooth sailing.
hi-d: felicity?
i too mourn the new york demise of ry@n. i remember him every time i see stunt city or smell a stick of degree. that and i want to be comment 80.
beauty = beautiful things.
and y'all can back up off laguna and all its beauty!!
ghill.
shameless promo.
love you anyway tho.
good stuff bro.
subtle and slow.
Paul: I will bring Felicity. I'm glad to share Felicity and spread the good news.
Stephen: i did disappear for a little bit. But i'm glad to see that Felicity was a topic of discussion on your blog. ;)
paul: i approve of thursday friday and saturday. but i guess if we have to get back, i'm will to give up saturday. moab sounds good as long as we hit up amassa back (or however you spell it?).
elizabethannlowe: i miss you.
ghill: welcome to the dominion. its good to have you.
petey: come back to me already. i'm getting tired of walking around the apartment in my underwear all the time.
i have nothing to say to any of you except that i love cheesecake and old pillows, have a deathly fear of even coming close to anything representing a mountain on a bike (but that doesn't mean i promise not to "borrow" stephen's bike), would love to live in new york as long as stevie promises not to steal my toothbrush again, and have never even heard of laguna or felicity.
oh yeah, almost forgot, the braves won today.
stevie: you have 90 comments because this is a chatauqua.
i like the good news.
i too avoid the top layer in a hotel.
i too walk around the house in my underwear...
i think we should have a chatauqua about amasa back...does anyone know what that is beside jonny and stevie?
dd?
wait skinny, you're moving out here. i can't wait. must warn my friends.
paul: the chautauqua will commence on amasa back, where we can discuss modern society's clash with the natural and divine as we overlook that salt mine (or whatever that eyesore is that blackens the landscape).
ryan: when did you eat this cheesecake? you must be lying. why is this the first time i've heard about it? is it better than o'luney's? are you lying?
Jill: you are welcome to come back to nyc for the cheesecake. just be grateful you don't know ryan.
amasa back is one of the best things a human can experience...think of all the people whose lives are incomplete...and it doesn't count if you're in a jeep, on a motorcycle or trailrunning (especially is you're trailrunning)...
the dj? natalie? steven tew? tracy? patty? nikki? carrie? liz? summer? you'd better jump on this bandwagon before it reaches 100. we just don't know what will happen to the site at that point (stephen's translated to blogheaven..? TFA sets one year term limits..?. i get tranlated to hawaii)
did i say bandwagon? i meant gravy train.
all i know is without paul's 3-4 comments in a row, this web log would be nothing. he is the driving force, the light of inspiration, the coal that keeps this train running. and what i would give to have tfa change to 1 year instead of 2.
Hello family, we heard today that mel got into the MPA program at the U. She was pretty excited.
Mel I don't know you (do I know anyone on this blog) but I offer you congratulations on your acceptance.
Cheescake, no matter it's origin is suspect and Felicity and I are not acquainted. I can not say the same of the Iron Chef.
Dirt bikes are more familiar to me than mountain bikes based merely on experience and I hear that an IKEA is in Draper's future.
natalie: dirt bikes...sounds fun. iron chef and felicity would go well together.
melinda: congratulations! very exciting, at the very least you won't be commuting more than an hour. the U's not half bad as long as you remember your BYU roots when you venture onto the enemies soil.
anyone want to come to zion with me? literally, figuratively, all of the above. i'm taking my road and mountainbike and since i couldn't talk amy into bringing the kiddos (eight weeks is not too old to be biking is it?) i may just be experiencing my own solo chatauqua.
teaching by day and biking by evening.
i couldn't help it. i wanted to be 100.
paul: my twin is my best friend, but we had some rough years. comparisons are unavoidable. i want to come to zion (literally and figuratively)
stevey: how was the party? i've missed you too...more than you know.
ry@n: thanks for the follow up. i feel like a more educated new yorker.
petey: beauty = felicity = joy
dd: when are you coming up here? do it now.
paul: when do you go down (up) to zion? i get off on the 13th and maybe i'll fly home if you're still there.
natalie: i don't know what the crap you're talking about. "Cheesecake, no matter its origin, is suspect" is quite a statement. i appreciate the fact that you don't know felicity; however, the question is whether you would like felicity if you knew her. and your little comment about cheesecake leads me to believe you would.
dd: felicity? really?
i'm off to zion tonight through the 8th. sorry brother.
dd: i'm glad to hear you're best friends. i guess the question is whether the 'rough years' are avoidable.
my brother's my best friend too.
stevey: if felicity is such a stumbling block, there is something else you should know about me before this goes any further (and you don't give me a ring....)
i read Us Weekly religiously.
do you think these are things we can work through? (please say yes!)
paul: it depends...are they girls or boys?
natalie: if by "suspect" you mean addictively delicious and sinfully satisfying, then i agree wholeheartedly.
dd: they are girls.
we had cheesecake last night--my favorite.
beside dreyer's vanilla bean and mint chocolate spray...suspect?
i partitioned my hardrive...it's sort of like computer life insurance.
try it.
jill: two girls AND a boy??? good luck!!! your situation is outside the range of my experience, but all i can say is...i'm in awe of your undertaking.
paul: expect a little drama, but they will eventually love each other. the preteen years are rough--and I'm not sure you can avoid that.
paul: i'll partition your face. and i know you meant jonny.
elizabethannlowe: us weakly is god reading. i can get over it.
jill: i know jeff wright.
mel: congrats. welcome back to utah.
stephen. i'm so lost in the dominion these days.
dd. wow.
paul. you can partition what/whom- ever you like.
mel. congrats!
jill. wow.
nat. i have a dirt bike.
jonny. don't let these boys bully you.
pt. great comment!
Petey what do you ride?
natalie: you don't want to know....
stumpjumper 120 expert.
jonny.
as manly as football may be, still not capri-able.
natalie.
haro F2, yellow.
Wowwie Petey, nice looking bike - yellow. I was thinking bikes like Honda 450x 4 strokes and other bikes with motors. Still that Haro is chill
can anyone honestly tell me w/o looking back what this post was originally about (minus stephen)?
60x2=?
121?
it was a chatauqua.
gooseberry is heaven sent.
death cab was great this weekend...thanks petey and nick.
paul: you always can be counted on to come through in a squeeze.
well done paul.
you win the prize.
come collect.
i guess the gravy train's lost its savor.
yeah, i was really hoping for 200+
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